Hello Everyone,
I know many people have been waiting on this story to come out, and I give you my apologies for taking so long. Well as you all know recently I had a encounter with the Lord where the Lord healed my body from Guillain-Barre syndrome, what GBS (Guillain-Barre syndrome) is, is a disorder in which the body's immune system attacks part of the peripheral nervous system. The first symptoms of this disorder include varying degrees of weakness or tingling sensations in the legs. In many instances the weakness and abnormal sensations spread to the arms and upper body. GBS has killed many, and left many disabled for life. My cousin Gus Dean has had GBS for 8 years and still has not recover, and some recover fully in about a years time. But as you know Jesus healed me and here is my story.
"Suffering comes before glory, and a cross before a crown". This was my slogan and it couldn't be more true. In the midst of all the madness, I was looking right into the eyes of the Lion and asking the Lamb to come work, an as He looked back at me with that gaze tells me I am loved suddenly I knew my King had me. For every season of this life that we walk in has trails and test that await us. Some harder than others, some easy, some seem so big that you can't see a way around it, some are so small that you forget its even there, some friends just come and go like the seasons of the life, but the revelation you receive in the testing of our souls will last for eternity, always look for the word of Lord and the light in the dark room. The spirit of revelation lays beneath brokenness and hard times, so keep the faith and never stop running. No matter how bad things get on this earth and in our lives Jesus is still God therefore we win. So I looked into the middle of the storm and I found wisdom looking right back at me and was filled with joy and peace. Everything He does no matter how big or small is beautiful. I trust in the one who makes the invisible visible. Full of compassion, He took on our frame, leading us into the beauty of His name.
I came down with this sickness around the first of March, I had a really bad cold for a little over a week, it was thee worst cold I have ever had in my life. But with out health insurance I was not about to go to the doctor so I just took normal cold meds drunk allot of water and slept allot. After a week of having this cold i noticed that I did not feel any better, in fact I was feeling worse. I noticed that I was starting to get a shape pain in my left knee, a few hours after noticing this the pain was sharpening and moving to my right knee, so i just took some Ibuprofen and went to sleep. The next morning when I woke up my feet felt like they where asleep, there was a tingling in both feet and pain in all my joints. I knew something was not write when it progressed all day up my legs, noticing my arms and legs were getting really weak, and my whole body was feeling cold I went to the ER. After sitting in the waiting room for about 6 hours, all they did was test my sugar and told me i could be having a reaction to my cold meds and sent me home. The next few days I just slept and drunk allot of water. Four days later my face was numb all over, i could not move my lips, I could hardly blink, and was in so much pain that I went four days without sleep. I chose to go to another Doctor, he ran allot of test and came up with nothing at all. He sent me to a neurologist at a local ER. Soon after I got there they told me that they were afraid for my life and i was going to be in the hospital for a long time. A few hours later they told me it was GBS, and my heart sunk. I knew how serious it was and how painful it was going to be.
That morning as i laid in the bed I felt the peace and comfort of God overshadow my bed and I slept for the first time in four days. When I woke up I could not feel any of my skin, and i could not out any pressure on my feet at all. But no fear hit my heart at all, I knew i was in the Lord's hands and that He had me. Little did i know He was going to use this event to change my whole life.
One of the leaders at the House of Prayer (IHOP) in Kansas City, had a encounter with the Lord where she was caught up into the heaven and saw the Lord working on the brides heart as she was laying on a hospital bed, the Lord said He was "reviving Her and getting the toxins out." I had no idea how much this would really be true in my life when I heard it, but just a month or so after it was spoken I found myself laying on a hospital bed about to go under the surgery of the Lord.
"Pain has been to me a sweet companion, leading me on a journey into the mystery of the Man who walked this road before me."
A few years after I had gotten saved, I was really hurt by the spirit of religion, my church was full of young people who had been set on fire for Jesus, and it was also full of elders who did not like us at all. After two years the pastor's falls into adultery the church cast them out, and runs their names into the ground then splits down the middle everyone talking about everyone, making up lies on one another. Rumors where flying around about me that I was in Kansas City backslidden and depressed. This put such a bad taste in my mouth against the church. I had little love in my heart for the bride of Christ.
So here I am for the first time in my life laying in a bed helpless. I could not do anything on my own, i couldn't use my lips to talk, all my words were mumbled and no one could really understand what I was saying, I couldn't walk, feel how hot or cold a room was, all my strength was gone, I couldn't even close my eye all the way, eating and drinking was a work out for me. People would come into my room see me and just start crying because of my condition. I felt useless. It was in that place when I was brought to the lowest of lows where the Lord began to work.
See suffering comes before Glory and a cross before a crown, if you want to follow Jesus you must die to yourself and your own abilities to do a,b, and c and learn to trust in who he is. I found myself the first night in the hospital feeling sorry for myself and wanting it all to be over and in the midst of that the Lord came and met me. The lights went off and I looked up and said "You are God, your leadership is perfect, you have never lead anyone wrong. You are in control of all things, here I am teach me what you will." I just began to think upon the divinity of Jesus, and as I began to think upon who He is the worry, fear, self-pity, false humility just began to fall right off of me. I came to grips with the suffering that I was in the midst of and I simply prayed "Jesus teach me what you will". As I began to look at Him I
could feel Him looking at her (His bride), and I am going "Jesus you are beautiful"
and Jesus is going "jonathan, not only am I beautiful look how beautiful and lovely my bride is." "Isn't she beautiful watch her love me." This would take me so off guard because I really did not believe that Jesus thought the church was beautiful right now. I thought He was mostly angry at her and He only really loved her because He had to, and at the end of the day He was going to send most of the people in the Church to hell. As this began to happen, nurse after nurse would come in and for some reason they were mostly spirit filled believers. They would just encourage me and pray over me, and as they did it just began to slowly soften my heart to the bride, my phone was ringing off the hook with churches full of people praying over me, believers from all over the nation started sending me emails, people whom I did not know were contacting me, and letting me know that they were praying, and Jesus was using them to show me that the Bride of Christ is beautiful and that in the midst of all the funk that is in her, He is moving and He is working and she is coming to life. Jesus broke my heart for the bride and brought me to repentance over the period of a few weeks and now I can truly say the bride of Christ though dark is being called lovely by her Husband and she is getting the water of the word poured on her and she is coming to life. Jesus is waking His bride up in this nation.
Showing posts with label Revival. Joshua Hawkins. Jonathan Pollard. Joe Meyer. IHOPU. IHOP. Awakening.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Revival. Joshua Hawkins. Jonathan Pollard. Joe Meyer. IHOPU. IHOP. Awakening.. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Awakening and renewal - the big picture. By. Joshua Hawkins
The Lord is clearly moving in an unusual way in our world today. From churches and college campuses in Kansas City, Texas, and Atlanta to New England, Redding, California, and many places even across the globe, there is an unprecedented move of the Holy Spirit taking place. God is revealing Himself to His church as the joyful Father that loves to heal bodies and restore our hearts to the place where we truly believe in His love for us.
I love the extended meetings we’ve been having here at IHOP-KC. The Holy Spirit touches us in so many different ways. Some are weeping, some laughing, some completely overwhelmed by the Lord just laying on the floor, and some clearly being shaken around by angels or something, who knows… (See this blog category page for more of my thoughts on “manifestations” of the Holy Spirit) The Lord has healed many bodies and even more hearts to receive and believe His love. Just as Jesus said, the “wheat” and the “tares” are both growing up together (Matthew 13:30), and as Peter said that times of refreshing will come from the Lord’s presence (Acts 3:19), I believe that we will continue to see seasons of refreshing, renewal, healing, and revival that will increase in scope and intensity prior to the Lord’s return. I believe the meetings will even go to some of the stadiums of the earth where many will witness visible, open displays of God’s power and presence.
Good meetings in stadiums are not the final intentions of the Holy Spirit’s stirrings today. In these days (and those days when good stadium meetings come) we are experiencing extraordinary signposts, markers, and witnesses to the ultimate end – the restoration of all things. In the midst of the great revival in the book of Acts, the apostle Peter and the rest of the Jews in Jerusalem understood that revival was not the “end” and that there was still a coming day in the Lord’s heart (Acts 3:21) – a day He has been waiting on now for over 6,000 years. It is the day in which the One from the line of David would return to the earth to establish the kingdom of God. It is the day in which the promised Seed (Genesis 3:15) would openly initiate the process of defeating death and restoring all things in the heavens and on the earth to their original glory.
The Lord plays “multi-dimensional chess”, but is always working with this end in mind. With that in consideration, we can look at what the Holy Spirit is doing and realize it is not disconnected from His ultimate plan. Among other "external" reasons which I've addressed in other posts, I primarily see these five main "internal" reasons for the Holy Spirit’s move of power today:
The Father’s heart
The Father is restoring the joy of childlikeness to us as we encounter His love and tenderness. When we understand that the Father truly loves us because we are a son or daughter, we stop trying to earn His approval. Holiness and obedience becomes joyful instead of a dutiful drudgery. And as we encounter His love for us, it allows us to see others with His eyes and love them in the same way.
The compassion of Jesus
Many physical healings are happening as a result of this move of God, and each one is deeply rooted in Jesus’ heart of compassion. Over and over again in the gospels, we see our Lord deeply moved with compassion. As the Chosen One of God to abolish death forever, He released a sign of that coming day when walking into the city of Nain in Luke 7:11-17 in raising a widow’s son from the dead. His compassion was His motivation then, and that same compassion is what motivates Him to heal today, and each one of the healings that we see serves as a signpost to the coming day of the Lord and His glory.
Training in humility
Many of the bizarre manifestations of the Spirit’s presence as seen in the meetings offend the mind and reveal the heart. I’ve written much more on this in several of my other posts on the IHOPU Student Awakening, but I believe that the Lord is beckoning everyone to a new depth of humility and Christ-likeness in this move by:
Inviting those whose body reacts to the presence of God in strange ways to renounce their pride and submit to God’s hand.
Inviting those whose body does not move at all to believe that He is touching them, but just in imperceptible ways.
Inviting those who are confused or distracted to ask for help to set their focus on Jesus, His glory and worth, and His work in people’s hearts and lives.
He is really answering all those prayers we have prayed for humility and to be like Him!
The first commandment being restored to the first place
Right now, the church in the west is more concerned about bigger ministry than about a bigger heart of love towards Jesus. But as we have our eyes opened by the Spirit to see the indescribable worth of Jesus, our hearts are beckoned in greater love and abandonment towards Him, especially in the secret place when nobody is looking. As the Spirit helps us, our time, money, energy, words, thoughts, and gifts will come under the leadership of Jesus so that He truly has the preeminence in all things in our lives (Colossians 1:18).
The restoration of true biblical hope, the hope of glory
The western church today is almost completely disconnected from the New Testament idea of “hope”, minimizing it to an emotion to help sustain us before we have power, dominion, influence, or lasting peace and joy in this age. But the New Testament idea of hope is completely anchored in the age to come, in which Jesus will come, establish His kingdom, and abolish death forever. Signs and wonders, healings, joy, and revival are not manifest evidences of Christ's kingdom breaking in to the earth today, but are something much more important - they are heightened, undeniable evidences to the coming day of the Lord where He will establish His messianic kingdom on the earth, give the saints a resurrected body free of imperfections, and deal with sin and death forever.
If we set our hope on “now” so that we believe that our mandate is societal transformation, great revival, or some great influence of the church on the world in this age, will we be found disillusioned and offended at God if those things do not come to pass in the way we think they will? The biblical hope does not disappoint in any way (Romans 5:5), because the resurrection of Christ and the Spirit living in us guarantees the promises of God (Ephesians 1:14; 2 Cor 1:20). God raised Jesus from the dead as the clearest evidence of His identity as Lord and Christ (Acts 2:36), and this is what provoked the Jews to believe in His return to make all things new (Ephesians 1:9-10). Every time someone is healed or delivered, every time someone shakes or is overwhelmed by God’s presence, and every time our hearts are filled with God’s joy, God is giving us an undeniable, divine witness to His promise, and this is what anchors us in the hope of the restoration of all things. We must not minimize these witnesses, but see them as divine assistance to propel our hearts deeper in the "hope to which He has called us" (Ephesians 1:18). I have much more to say about this topic, so I’ll write another post about this point later.
My heart is so filled with gratitude for the Lord’s kindness. We’ve never earned anything from Him and we have nothing inherent within us to cause Him to move in the way that He is. He is touching us solely based on His motivation to do so! As we attend meetings where the Holy Spirit moves with power, when we hear testimonies about hearts or bodies being healed, and when we hear stories about people being filled with joy and acting strangely, may we remember these 5 reasons and ask for more of them!
For the original post on Josh's blog go here:
http://www.joshuahawkins.com/blog/2010/03/awakening-and-renewal-big-picture
I love the extended meetings we’ve been having here at IHOP-KC. The Holy Spirit touches us in so many different ways. Some are weeping, some laughing, some completely overwhelmed by the Lord just laying on the floor, and some clearly being shaken around by angels or something, who knows… (See this blog category page for more of my thoughts on “manifestations” of the Holy Spirit) The Lord has healed many bodies and even more hearts to receive and believe His love. Just as Jesus said, the “wheat” and the “tares” are both growing up together (Matthew 13:30), and as Peter said that times of refreshing will come from the Lord’s presence (Acts 3:19), I believe that we will continue to see seasons of refreshing, renewal, healing, and revival that will increase in scope and intensity prior to the Lord’s return. I believe the meetings will even go to some of the stadiums of the earth where many will witness visible, open displays of God’s power and presence.
Good meetings in stadiums are not the final intentions of the Holy Spirit’s stirrings today. In these days (and those days when good stadium meetings come) we are experiencing extraordinary signposts, markers, and witnesses to the ultimate end – the restoration of all things. In the midst of the great revival in the book of Acts, the apostle Peter and the rest of the Jews in Jerusalem understood that revival was not the “end” and that there was still a coming day in the Lord’s heart (Acts 3:21) – a day He has been waiting on now for over 6,000 years. It is the day in which the One from the line of David would return to the earth to establish the kingdom of God. It is the day in which the promised Seed (Genesis 3:15) would openly initiate the process of defeating death and restoring all things in the heavens and on the earth to their original glory.
The Lord plays “multi-dimensional chess”, but is always working with this end in mind. With that in consideration, we can look at what the Holy Spirit is doing and realize it is not disconnected from His ultimate plan. Among other "external" reasons which I've addressed in other posts, I primarily see these five main "internal" reasons for the Holy Spirit’s move of power today:
The Father’s heart
The Father is restoring the joy of childlikeness to us as we encounter His love and tenderness. When we understand that the Father truly loves us because we are a son or daughter, we stop trying to earn His approval. Holiness and obedience becomes joyful instead of a dutiful drudgery. And as we encounter His love for us, it allows us to see others with His eyes and love them in the same way.
The compassion of Jesus
Many physical healings are happening as a result of this move of God, and each one is deeply rooted in Jesus’ heart of compassion. Over and over again in the gospels, we see our Lord deeply moved with compassion. As the Chosen One of God to abolish death forever, He released a sign of that coming day when walking into the city of Nain in Luke 7:11-17 in raising a widow’s son from the dead. His compassion was His motivation then, and that same compassion is what motivates Him to heal today, and each one of the healings that we see serves as a signpost to the coming day of the Lord and His glory.
Training in humility
Many of the bizarre manifestations of the Spirit’s presence as seen in the meetings offend the mind and reveal the heart. I’ve written much more on this in several of my other posts on the IHOPU Student Awakening, but I believe that the Lord is beckoning everyone to a new depth of humility and Christ-likeness in this move by:
Inviting those whose body reacts to the presence of God in strange ways to renounce their pride and submit to God’s hand.
Inviting those whose body does not move at all to believe that He is touching them, but just in imperceptible ways.
Inviting those who are confused or distracted to ask for help to set their focus on Jesus, His glory and worth, and His work in people’s hearts and lives.
He is really answering all those prayers we have prayed for humility and to be like Him!
The first commandment being restored to the first place
Right now, the church in the west is more concerned about bigger ministry than about a bigger heart of love towards Jesus. But as we have our eyes opened by the Spirit to see the indescribable worth of Jesus, our hearts are beckoned in greater love and abandonment towards Him, especially in the secret place when nobody is looking. As the Spirit helps us, our time, money, energy, words, thoughts, and gifts will come under the leadership of Jesus so that He truly has the preeminence in all things in our lives (Colossians 1:18).
The restoration of true biblical hope, the hope of glory
The western church today is almost completely disconnected from the New Testament idea of “hope”, minimizing it to an emotion to help sustain us before we have power, dominion, influence, or lasting peace and joy in this age. But the New Testament idea of hope is completely anchored in the age to come, in which Jesus will come, establish His kingdom, and abolish death forever. Signs and wonders, healings, joy, and revival are not manifest evidences of Christ's kingdom breaking in to the earth today, but are something much more important - they are heightened, undeniable evidences to the coming day of the Lord where He will establish His messianic kingdom on the earth, give the saints a resurrected body free of imperfections, and deal with sin and death forever.
If we set our hope on “now” so that we believe that our mandate is societal transformation, great revival, or some great influence of the church on the world in this age, will we be found disillusioned and offended at God if those things do not come to pass in the way we think they will? The biblical hope does not disappoint in any way (Romans 5:5), because the resurrection of Christ and the Spirit living in us guarantees the promises of God (Ephesians 1:14; 2 Cor 1:20). God raised Jesus from the dead as the clearest evidence of His identity as Lord and Christ (Acts 2:36), and this is what provoked the Jews to believe in His return to make all things new (Ephesians 1:9-10). Every time someone is healed or delivered, every time someone shakes or is overwhelmed by God’s presence, and every time our hearts are filled with God’s joy, God is giving us an undeniable, divine witness to His promise, and this is what anchors us in the hope of the restoration of all things. We must not minimize these witnesses, but see them as divine assistance to propel our hearts deeper in the "hope to which He has called us" (Ephesians 1:18). I have much more to say about this topic, so I’ll write another post about this point later.
My heart is so filled with gratitude for the Lord’s kindness. We’ve never earned anything from Him and we have nothing inherent within us to cause Him to move in the way that He is. He is touching us solely based on His motivation to do so! As we attend meetings where the Holy Spirit moves with power, when we hear testimonies about hearts or bodies being healed, and when we hear stories about people being filled with joy and acting strangely, may we remember these 5 reasons and ask for more of them!
For the original post on Josh's blog go here:
http://www.joshuahawkins.com/blog/2010/03/awakening-and-renewal-big-picture
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